"Years and years ago there was this pizza shop I used to go to called 'Classic Pizza' that sold really good pizzas. I mean, they sold some of the best pizzas around. Most people liked the original recipe but my favorite one was 'The Next Pepperation' which was the greatest pepperoni pizza I ever consumed. Well, a few bad managerial decisions forced the owners to close their doors and all of us pizza lovers were saddened when it closed down.
The original owners of the franchise decided to try again after a few years and hired this flashy young manager to open a new pizza shop called 'Kelvin's Pizza'. It sold the same type of pizzas as the classic restaurant, but redone to look and taste flashier. While we were glad the pizza shop was back, it didn't feel the same as before. In the diner, they had spot lights that would blind you and the pizzas didn't quite taste the same, so eventually that restaurant closed.
Yet soon after that restaurant closed, the owners found yet another manager and opened another one called 'NuPizza'. It promised to go back to the original recipes and improve the overall restaurant experience and so once again, I was excited and was there on opening day. Except it still felt like the Kelvin restaurant, but the pizzas were now burnt. They also began to market their pizza cutters which spun the wrong way. So I went to the management and complained.
The next day I went back to give it a second shot. Once again those damn lights blinded me, there were pizza cutters everywhere and I had another helping of burnt pizza. I went to the lady eating nearby and asked 'Does the pizza here taste burnt to you?' and she responded 'I can't tell the difference, but have you seen the pizza cutters and new pizza box designs? It's good to have more diversity in my pizza boxes.'
Confused, I walked out and noticed this tiny new pizza shop that had just opened called 'Orville's Pizza'. I walked in and ordered a slice. The atmosphere was pleasant. Reminded me of the Classic Pizza restaurant. They only had one type of pizza, but it tasted so much like the original that I declared this new restaurant the true successor to the classic one.
Meanwhile, NuPizza continued to make burnt pizzas and putting them in boxes with diverse designs in order to distract costumers from the taste. They did make some changes though. They got rid of the flashing spot lights and created this new pizza that they considered to be as closest to The Next Pepperation as possible, so I went there to try it, but unfortunately, along with the pepperoni, they topped it off with a thick layer of memberberry sauce, which is fine in small doses, but when it's practically the whole pizza, it loses it's nutritional value. So once again, I went to management to complain that not only was my pizza still burnt, but the memberberry sauce was too thick.
Management then proceeded to call me names, kicked me out of the restaurant and told me that they no longer wanted my business. Since then they've stopped advertising their pizza cutters and will be discontinuing them.
I'll see you at Orville's."
The original owners of the franchise decided to try again after a few years and hired this flashy young manager to open a new pizza shop called 'Kelvin's Pizza'. It sold the same type of pizzas as the classic restaurant, but redone to look and taste flashier. While we were glad the pizza shop was back, it didn't feel the same as before. In the diner, they had spot lights that would blind you and the pizzas didn't quite taste the same, so eventually that restaurant closed.
Yet soon after that restaurant closed, the owners found yet another manager and opened another one called 'NuPizza'. It promised to go back to the original recipes and improve the overall restaurant experience and so once again, I was excited and was there on opening day. Except it still felt like the Kelvin restaurant, but the pizzas were now burnt. They also began to market their pizza cutters which spun the wrong way. So I went to the management and complained.
The next day I went back to give it a second shot. Once again those damn lights blinded me, there were pizza cutters everywhere and I had another helping of burnt pizza. I went to the lady eating nearby and asked 'Does the pizza here taste burnt to you?' and she responded 'I can't tell the difference, but have you seen the pizza cutters and new pizza box designs? It's good to have more diversity in my pizza boxes.'
Confused, I walked out and noticed this tiny new pizza shop that had just opened called 'Orville's Pizza'. I walked in and ordered a slice. The atmosphere was pleasant. Reminded me of the Classic Pizza restaurant. They only had one type of pizza, but it tasted so much like the original that I declared this new restaurant the true successor to the classic one.
Meanwhile, NuPizza continued to make burnt pizzas and putting them in boxes with diverse designs in order to distract costumers from the taste. They did make some changes though. They got rid of the flashing spot lights and created this new pizza that they considered to be as closest to The Next Pepperation as possible, so I went there to try it, but unfortunately, along with the pepperoni, they topped it off with a thick layer of memberberry sauce, which is fine in small doses, but when it's practically the whole pizza, it loses it's nutritional value. So once again, I went to management to complain that not only was my pizza still burnt, but the memberberry sauce was too thick.
Management then proceeded to call me names, kicked me out of the restaurant and told me that they no longer wanted my business. Since then they've stopped advertising their pizza cutters and will be discontinuing them.
I'll see you at Orville's."
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