Before we begin, I must stress that this is a work of fiction. Fiction means it's not real. This is not a history, nor is it to be taken seriously in any way. This is basically my satirical interpretation of what it may have been like to film Star Trek Discovery.
Alex Kurtzman's Apartment, April 2016
*DING!* Went the microwave. Alex Kurtzman opened it and pulled his steaming macaroni and cheese instant microwave meal out. He was dressed in his robes and was ready to enjoy an evening of science fiction movies.
After Fuller's jabs at Kurtzman for his lack of Trek knowledge, he had tried to stream TOS to learn more about the franchise, but he found it dated, boring and kept falling asleep. He finally gave up and after searching the internet for other science fiction movies, he was deciding on whether to stream Galaxy Quest or 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Kurtzman's phone rang, he saw that it was Les Moonves and answered. "Alex, sorry I'm pulling this up last minute," said a rushed Moonves. "But we're gonna need a name for the show and the ship by tomorrow's meeting."
Kurtzman rolled his eyes, but complied with the request, "Ok, sir. I'll have it by tomorrow" and hung up. Then he thought about it.
I get to name this show? Kurtzman thought. I better come up with an exciting name. He sat down and as he started eating his mac and cheese, he wrote a few ideas down on his IPad.
"The Adventure"
"The America"
"The Andromeda"
Unfortunately, he wasn't feeling very creative at that moment and he was only stressing himself out. Since the idea of finding the right name seemed overwhelming at the moment, Kurtzman's mind wandered back to his movies. He decided on 2001: a Space Odyssey, but then more names popped into his head and he wrote those down.
"The Firebrand"
"The Blackmore"
His mac and cheese was about half way done when he thought to himself, Maybe Chris has some good suggestions. He called Christopher Meyer to get his advice, "Chris, I need some names for the ship by tomorrow and I'm wondering what you would think of naming the ship the Excalibur."
Meyer was blunt, "I hate it."
"How about the Dragon", countered Kurtzman.
"Alex," Meyer said, annoyed. "I see you're in a bind right now, but I'm having dinner with family", Kurtzman realized he was disturbing Meyers and apologized. "Sorry to bother you, I'll see you tomorrow."
After hanging up, his mind went back to his movie. He turned on 2001: A Space Odyssey, but the first three minutes were a blank screen and a soft orchestra lightly playing in the background. Instantly bored, he began to read the movie description, "Eighteen months after arriving at an outpost on the Moon, Dr. Heywood Floyd boarded the United States spacecraft Discovery One, bound for Jupiter."
Suddenly, the opening notes of "Also Sprach Zarathustra" begin to play as the name of Kurtzman's Trek series dawned on him.
*DING!* Went the microwave. Alex Kurtzman opened it and pulled his steaming macaroni and cheese instant microwave meal out. He was dressed in his robes and was ready to enjoy an evening of science fiction movies.
After Fuller's jabs at Kurtzman for his lack of Trek knowledge, he had tried to stream TOS to learn more about the franchise, but he found it dated, boring and kept falling asleep. He finally gave up and after searching the internet for other science fiction movies, he was deciding on whether to stream Galaxy Quest or 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Kurtzman's phone rang, he saw that it was Les Moonves and answered. "Alex, sorry I'm pulling this up last minute," said a rushed Moonves. "But we're gonna need a name for the show and the ship by tomorrow's meeting."
Kurtzman rolled his eyes, but complied with the request, "Ok, sir. I'll have it by tomorrow" and hung up. Then he thought about it.
I get to name this show? Kurtzman thought. I better come up with an exciting name. He sat down and as he started eating his mac and cheese, he wrote a few ideas down on his IPad.
"The Adventure"
"The America"
"The Andromeda"
Unfortunately, he wasn't feeling very creative at that moment and he was only stressing himself out. Since the idea of finding the right name seemed overwhelming at the moment, Kurtzman's mind wandered back to his movies. He decided on 2001: a Space Odyssey, but then more names popped into his head and he wrote those down.
"The Firebrand"
"The Blackmore"
His mac and cheese was about half way done when he thought to himself, Maybe Chris has some good suggestions. He called Christopher Meyer to get his advice, "Chris, I need some names for the ship by tomorrow and I'm wondering what you would think of naming the ship the Excalibur."
Meyer was blunt, "I hate it."
"How about the Dragon", countered Kurtzman.
"Alex," Meyer said, annoyed. "I see you're in a bind right now, but I'm having dinner with family", Kurtzman realized he was disturbing Meyers and apologized. "Sorry to bother you, I'll see you tomorrow."
After hanging up, his mind went back to his movie. He turned on 2001: A Space Odyssey, but the first three minutes were a blank screen and a soft orchestra lightly playing in the background. Instantly bored, he began to read the movie description, "Eighteen months after arriving at an outpost on the Moon, Dr. Heywood Floyd boarded the United States spacecraft Discovery One, bound for Jupiter."
Suddenly, the opening notes of "Also Sprach Zarathustra" begin to play as the name of Kurtzman's Trek series dawned on him.
CBS Studios, the next day.
"And I've decided to call the ship the USS Discovery", Kurtzman confidently told the group. "Doesn't that feel like a good Star Trek name?"
Just then Amy the secretary arrived and started to serve the group coffee. "It's certainly an improvement from the names you were pitching last night", said Meyer, welcoming a warm cup. Fuller offered no protest, "I don't mind it, I think Discovery sounds like a good show name too."
As she began filling Fuller's cup, Amy paused as she said to nobody in particular, "Star Trek Discovery? Wouldn't that make the initials STD?"
Fuller first looked at Amy with confusion, then at Kurtzman. Kurtzman was caught off-guard and said nothing - He just looked shocked. Fuller then realized that Kurtzman wasn't joking about the name and burst into laughter. Meyer then began to laugh too at the absurdity of what they almost agreed on. Then Amy started laughing. None of this amused Kurtzman who was once again feeling embarrassed and angry. He took it out on Amy.
"Amy, you're fired."
The room stopped laughing and Amy now had a horrified look on her face. Fuller and Meyers were shocked at first and tried to stop Amy, but she bolted out of the meeting room in tears before they could. Fuller scolded Kurtzman, "Damnit Alex, you didn't need to do that! She's a hard worker!"
Still angry, Kurtzman then dropped a bomb on Fuller, "I've already spoken to Les and finalized the name this morning before the meeting. You can't change it now."
Fuller was now furious, "You went behind my back AGAIN?"
"You never would have agreed to it anyways", Kurtzman shot back. Fuller retorted, "I did until I realized it was an acronym for Sexually Transmitted Disease!"
"Guys!" Meyer yelled, slamming his hands on the table. Kurtzman and Fuller froze - Meyer never rose his voice. He lowered his tone as he explained, "Hey, you two obviously can't get along, and there are some creative differences. Yet Alex, there was no reason to go behind Bryan and there was no reason to fire Amy. You're out of control."
Kurtzman didn't know what to say. He realized Meyer was siding with Fuller on this. Kurtzman got up and as he walked out of the meeting, called out behind him, "Discovery still stands and will be the name of the show! Deal with it!"
Fuller and Meyer, now alone, both took a deep breath and looked at one another in defeat. "How are we going to fix this," Fuller asked?
Meyer thought hard before suggesting, "Isn't 'Disco' technically short for 'Discovery'?"
Fuller had no choice but to suggest that "DISCO" be the abbreviation for Star Trek Discovery.
To be continued...
"And I've decided to call the ship the USS Discovery", Kurtzman confidently told the group. "Doesn't that feel like a good Star Trek name?"
Just then Amy the secretary arrived and started to serve the group coffee. "It's certainly an improvement from the names you were pitching last night", said Meyer, welcoming a warm cup. Fuller offered no protest, "I don't mind it, I think Discovery sounds like a good show name too."
As she began filling Fuller's cup, Amy paused as she said to nobody in particular, "Star Trek Discovery? Wouldn't that make the initials STD?"
Fuller first looked at Amy with confusion, then at Kurtzman. Kurtzman was caught off-guard and said nothing - He just looked shocked. Fuller then realized that Kurtzman wasn't joking about the name and burst into laughter. Meyer then began to laugh too at the absurdity of what they almost agreed on. Then Amy started laughing. None of this amused Kurtzman who was once again feeling embarrassed and angry. He took it out on Amy.
"Amy, you're fired."
The room stopped laughing and Amy now had a horrified look on her face. Fuller and Meyers were shocked at first and tried to stop Amy, but she bolted out of the meeting room in tears before they could. Fuller scolded Kurtzman, "Damnit Alex, you didn't need to do that! She's a hard worker!"
Still angry, Kurtzman then dropped a bomb on Fuller, "I've already spoken to Les and finalized the name this morning before the meeting. You can't change it now."
Fuller was now furious, "You went behind my back AGAIN?"
"You never would have agreed to it anyways", Kurtzman shot back. Fuller retorted, "I did until I realized it was an acronym for Sexually Transmitted Disease!"
"Guys!" Meyer yelled, slamming his hands on the table. Kurtzman and Fuller froze - Meyer never rose his voice. He lowered his tone as he explained, "Hey, you two obviously can't get along, and there are some creative differences. Yet Alex, there was no reason to go behind Bryan and there was no reason to fire Amy. You're out of control."
Kurtzman didn't know what to say. He realized Meyer was siding with Fuller on this. Kurtzman got up and as he walked out of the meeting, called out behind him, "Discovery still stands and will be the name of the show! Deal with it!"
Fuller and Meyer, now alone, both took a deep breath and looked at one another in defeat. "How are we going to fix this," Fuller asked?
Meyer thought hard before suggesting, "Isn't 'Disco' technically short for 'Discovery'?"
Fuller had no choice but to suggest that "DISCO" be the abbreviation for Star Trek Discovery.
To be continued...
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