​Before we begin, I must stress that this is a work of fiction. Fiction means it's not real. This is not a history, nor is it to be taken seriously in any way. This is basically my satirical interpretation of what it may have been like to film Star Trek Discovery. ​

Alex Kurtzman's Apartment, April 2016

*DING!* Went the microwave. Alex Kurtzman opened it and pulled his steaming macaroni and cheese instant microwave meal out. He was dressed in his robes and was ready to enjoy an evening of science fiction movies.

After Fuller's jabs at Kurtzman for his lack of Trek knowledge, he had tried to stream TOS to learn more about the franchise, but he found it dated, boring and kept falling asleep. He finally gave up and after searching the internet for other science fiction movies, he was deciding on whether to stream Galaxy Quest or 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Kurtzman's phone rang, he saw that it was Les Moonves and answered. "Alex, sorry I'm pulling this up last minute," said a rushed Moonves. "But we're gonna need a name for the show and the ship by tomorrow's meeting."

Kurtzman rolled his eyes, but complied with the request, "Ok, sir. I'll have it by tomorrow" and hung up. Then he thought about it.

I get to name this show? Kurtzman thought. I better come up with an exciting name. He sat down and as he started eating his mac and cheese, he wrote a few ideas down on his IPad.

"The Adventure"
"The America"
"The Andromeda"

Unfortunately, he wasn't feeling very creative at that moment and he was only stressing himself out. Since the idea of finding the right name seemed overwhelming at the moment, Kurtzman's mind wandered back to his movies. He decided on 2001: a Space Odyssey, but then more names popped into his head and he wrote those down.

"The Firebrand" 
"The Blackmore"

His mac and cheese was about half way done when he thought to himself, Maybe Chris has some good suggestions. He called Christopher Meyer to get his advice, "Chris, I need some names for the ship by tomorrow and I'm wondering what you would think of naming the ship the Excalibur."

Meyer was blunt, "I hate it."

"How about the Dragon", countered Kurtzman.

"Alex," Meyer said, annoyed. "I see you're in a bind right now, but I'm having dinner with family", Kurtzman realized he was disturbing Meyers and apologized. "Sorry to bother you, I'll see you tomorrow."

After hanging up, his mind went back to his movie. He turned on 2001: A Space Odyssey, but the first three minutes were a blank screen and a soft orchestra lightly playing in the background. Instantly bored, he began to read the movie description, "Eighteen months after arriving at an outpost on the Moon, Dr. Heywood Floyd boarded the United States spacecraft Discovery One, bound for Jupiter."

Suddenly, the opening notes of "Also Sprach Zarathustra" begin to play as the name of Kurtzman's Trek series dawned on him.

CBS Studios, the next day.

"And I've decided to call the ship the USS Discovery", Kurtzman confidently told the group. "Doesn't that feel like a good Star Trek name?"

Just then Amy the secretary arrived and started to serve the group coffee. "It's certainly an improvement from the names you were pitching last night", said Meyer, welcoming a warm cup. Fuller offered no protest, "I don't mind it, I think Discovery sounds like a good show name too."

As she began filling Fuller's cup, Amy paused as she said to nobody in particular, "Star Trek Discovery? Wouldn't that make the initials STD?"

Fuller first looked at Amy with confusion, then at Kurtzman. Kurtzman was caught off-guard and said nothing - He just looked shocked. Fuller then realized that Kurtzman wasn't joking about the name and burst into laughter. Meyer then began to laugh too at the absurdity of what they almost agreed on. Then Amy started laughing. None of this amused Kurtzman who was once again feeling embarrassed and angry. He took it out on Amy.

"Amy, you're fired."

The room stopped laughing and Amy now had a horrified look on her face. Fuller and Meyers were shocked at first and tried to stop Amy, but she bolted out of the meeting room in tears before they could. Fuller scolded Kurtzman, "Damnit Alex, you didn't need to do that! She's a hard worker!"

Still angry, Kurtzman then dropped a bomb on Fuller, "I've already spoken to Les and finalized the name this morning before the meeting. You can't change it now."

Fuller was now furious, "You went behind my back AGAIN?"

"You never would have agreed to it anyways", Kurtzman shot back. Fuller retorted, "I did until I realized it was an acronym for Sexually Transmitted Disease!"

"Guys!" Meyer yelled, slamming his hands on the table. Kurtzman and Fuller froze - Meyer never rose his voice. He lowered his tone as he explained, "Hey, you two obviously can't get along, and there are some creative differences. Yet Alex, there was no reason to go behind Bryan and there was no reason to fire Amy. You're out of control."

Kurtzman didn't know what to say. He realized Meyer was siding with Fuller on this. Kurtzman got up and as he walked out of the meeting, called out behind him, "Discovery still stands and will be the name of the show! Deal with it!"

Fuller and Meyer, now alone, both took a deep breath and looked at one another in defeat. "How are we going to fix this," Fuller asked?

Meyer thought hard before suggesting, "Isn't 'Disco' technically short for 'Discovery'?"

Fuller had no choice but to suggest that "DISCO" be the abbreviation for Star Trek Discovery.

To be continued...

​Before we begin, I must stress that this is a work of fiction. Fiction means it's not real. This is not a history, nor is it to be taken seriously in any way. This is basically my satirical interpretation of what it may have been like to film Star Trek Discovery. ​

CBS Studios, March 2016
​
"I'm telling you, we're not going to make the captain the main villain, fans will spot that twist a mile away," Fuller yelled! "We gotta make her a good person!"

"And I'm telling YOU that we can make it work," retorted Kurtzman! "What if she was from the mirror universe, where she had a relationship with Micheal? What a twist, right?"

Fuller wasn't having it. He was pissed that Kurtzman had gone behind his back to Moonves, who then had Fuller and Meyer rewrite the first two scripts yet again. They were not only forced to place the series in a past time era, but to write it in a serialized way. To Fuller, Kurtzman's idea of bringing up the mirror universe so early in a new Star Trek series felt like modern day lazy writing. Fuller challenged these ideas, "But what would she want with this Michael then?"

Kurtzman thought for a second before responding, "Maybe the Mirror Micheal is dead and she's looking for a new Michael." Fuller didn't accept that and shot back, "But still, this is a different Michael, and I hope you're not suggesting the entire plot of the series to be a Mirror universe love story."

That stung Kurtzman because he immediately realized it was true. Kurtzman began to whine, "You said fans would spot my twist, yet your story has no twists! It's all exposition... AND BORING EXPOSITION!"

Meyer tried to calm the two, "Guys, let's calm down. I may have a compromise. There doesn't have to be just one captain. We can have two captains in different times of Michael's life. Make one of them good and the other one bad."

"I'm satisfied with that", said Kurtzman. He wasn't, but he was glad that Meyer was at least attempting to work with his ideas. Meyer actually hated Kurtzman's ideas, but realized they wouldn't get far in the writing process if there wasn't compromises. They were already behind schedule and were supposed to be working on the next four scripts by now. The two looked at Fuller. Fuller hated these compromises, but trusted Meyer's judgement. However, he wasn't going to fully give in.

"Fine, but we're not going to introduce the mirror universe in the first season", Fuller finally relented. "Then what's going to be the captain's motive", asked Kurtzman? Fuller looked him straight in the eye before telling him, "I'll leave that problem up to you, since you insist on having a crooked captain." Fuller then looked around the room, "Are we happy with this? Can we move on?"

"Yes, I'm satisfied", said Kurtzman. Fuller went on.

"We've all agreed that this series will take place ten years before the original one and will feature a war between the Klingons and the Federation. In this draft of the first two scripts, the war is caused by a misunderstanding." Knowing Kurtzman would want his say by now, Fuller called to him, "Alex?"

This back and forth had become normal since they started working together. Kurtzman spurted out his idea of how to start the war, "I was thinking, what if Micheal killed the Klingon leader?" Fuller couldn't believe what he was hearing. It seemed like Kurtzman wanted not only a main character, but for that character to pull all the focus, "Oh so Michael is going to start the war too, right? Is she going to end it as well", he sarcastically asked?

"If she did, wouldn't that be a great way to redeem herself", Kurtzman defended?

Redeem? Fuller had no idea what Kurtzman was talking about, "Not if thousands are killed in this war! How could the fans redeem someone like that?" Kurtzman, a little over excited, thought he had a clever retort for Fuller's question, "They forgave Picard after he blew up all those Federation ships!"

Kurtzman thought that an actual reference to canon would shut Fuller's mouth. However, Fuller knew Star Trek and understood the episodes he referenced and said, "Because Picard was assimilated by the Borg, Alex! He wasn't in control of his mind or his actions! How many episodes of Star Trek have you actually watched?"

This question offended Kurtzman because he knew in his head that he had only watched six episodes total: The first pilot, Mirror Mirror, Spock's Brain, The Child, Inquisition and Scorpion as well as Star Trek: First Contact. However, he had not actually seen the Best of Both Worlds two-parter and only inferred what he knew about it from the First Contact film. Being in the mists of a fight for the future of this show with someone who had vast knowledge of the franchise though, Kurtzman wasn't about to show weakness to Fuller. He lied.

"I'll have you know that I have seen all of them! And that question is an insult to my intelligence", said Kurtzman. Fuller responded without a beat, "Well excuse me, but when you first suggested that Michael be Spock's sister, when any casual Trek fan knows Spock never had a sister, it peaks my concern about your knowledge of Trek lore!"

"ADOPTED sister" Kurtzman cried out, knowing he had already made that part specific to Fuller.

Meyer once again interjected, "Guys, this isn't productive. Bryan, what if Michael kills this leader by accident? Surely we couldn't blame her for the subsequent deaths if her intentions were noble."

Fuller took a breath and once again relented to Meyer, "We have to flesh it out, but ok." Meyer looked at Kurtzman, "Alex?"

Kurtzman dismissed the discussion, "Fine. Whatever."

The three moved on with their meeting. "Going with that," Fuller began, "Is she going to suffer any sort of consequences for starting a war in the first place? Even if it was an accident?"
"Sure," said Kurtzman, not seeming to mind the suggestion, "Send her to jail." Fuller had him now, "How about we send her to a prison colony instead", he responded sarcastically. Realizing that Fuller had tricked him into exposing his lack of Trek knowledge, Kurtzman lashed out at him, "Bryan, you're a dick!"

Fuller was now trying to hide his smug look as he told Kurtzman, "Alex, when it comes to the integrity of Star Trek, you're damn right I'm gonna be a dick about it."

Just then the phone in the conference room rang. Fuller picked it up on speaker, "Yes Amy?" Everybody stopped to listen. "Sir, Eaves and Schneider are here", said a female voice.

"Thank you Amy", responded Fuller before hanging up and addressing the room. "Gentlemen, we have one more line of business to discuss. Mr. Moonves wants a final ship design ASAP, so that we can set up a short video clip in time for this years San Diego Comic Con. He thinks it will excite the fans. John Eaves and Scott Schneider are here to show us a few designs that Alex thought up." Just as Fuller was finishing up, the door opened and in walked Schneider and Eaves.

After greeting each other, everybody sat back down. Eaves pulled out his design portfolio and started passing it around the table. Kurtzman immediately turned to a certain design, skipping over others, and pointed at it, "I like this one". Kurtzman passed it to Fuller who took a good look at the ship design, "I'm not sure about this one. The angles are too sharp. There needs to be some curvature there, like on a Lamborghini from the 70s."

He passed the design to Meyers who analyzed it and realized something, "This design looks like it's based on the McQuarrie/Adams design for Phase 2".

"That's what Mr. Kurtzman asked for", Eaves said. Fuller eyed Kurtzman as he realized he had once again gone behind his back. He was also confused about Kurtzman's motivation for the design and asked, "I thought Mr. Kurtzman was clear about not using anything from Paramount because of the alternative license agreement."

Kurtzman eyed him back, remembering that he had asked Fuller to not talk about the licensing deal to others. Then he tried to play it off, "Don't worry, we'll switch it up 25% and it'll be fine. Nobody will notice." 

"How do we suppose we change it?" Meyer asked. "I was thinking of adding some racing stripes to it", Kurtzman replied. Everybody paused and looked at Kurtzman, who was now openly smirking as Fuller pleaded, "I hope you're joking."

"Just wanted to see if your head would explode", Kurtzman replied. Eaves and Schneider looked at each other as they started to realize there was tension in the room. They were also confused about the legal situation that Fuller had alluded to. Eaves asked the room, "I have a question, why do these ship designs have to be 25% different from previous designs."

Fuller and Meyer looked at each other with a sigh, then looked at Kurtzman. Fuller gave the room to Kurtzman, "Alex, you're the expert". Kurtzman eyed Fuller hard, but Fuller stared back just as hard. Kurtzman, now under pressure to explain, cleared his throat and spoke, "CBS and Paramount share a non-compete clause on Star Trek as long as the Bad Robot/Kelvin films are still at play. This would normally mean that CBS can't put out any competing Star Trek content while Paramount is still making Trek.

"So why are we making a Star Trek then", Schneider asked. Kurtzman responded, "In this case, CBS and Paramount compromised by sending Secret Hideout to co-produce the series, which gives us a financial stake in it. We also have to abide by the same alternative license as Bad Robot, which requires everything to be at least 25% different from the original content. This jives with the interests of Secret Hideout because we can then make a potential profit off of the merchandise.

"So it's all about merchandise," asked Eaves? "To him," answered Fuller. Schneider looked disappointed, Eaves looked disgusted. Eaves stood up, "I think we should go."

With that, Fuller concluded the meeting, "Change the design and we'll put together a graphics team for the CG model. Meeting is adjured."

The five stood and began to file out of the conference room, "I think we actually made some progress today," said Meyer to nobody in particular. Nobody responded to him. Instead Fuller had one more request for Kurtzman, "Alex in all seriousness, I left a gift for you at the lobby. Please take the hint. Have a good afternoon."

Once downstairs at the lobby, Kurtzman waited for everybody to leave before pulling out his phone and dialing a number. After a couple of rings, a female answered, "Hello?"

Kurtzman looked embarrassed, "Oh! I'm sorry, I think I have the wrong number." Then immediately realizing he may have not, he cringed and said, "I'm looking for Les". "Oh, hold on", she said before hearing some murmurs and then a groggy Moonves saying, "Hello?"

"Ew. It's me Alex, but..." Moonves completed his thought, "Alex, can I call you back?" Kurtzman quickly responded, "Yeah, bye!" before hanging up the phone. He then walked to the receptionist desk to see what Fuller left him, "I was told I have a gift here from a Bryan Fuller?"
​
He was given a large gift bag. He sat down and looked inside. What he found was a complete set of Blu-Rays for The Original Series as well as the first six Star Trek films and an episode guide to The Next Generation.

​Kurtzman realized that this was another dig by Fuller at his lack of knowledge about Star Trek and was once again angered. "What a dick", he mumbled to himself. As he walked outside, he saw a mother and child waiting in the lobby and decided to hand the bag to them. 

As Kurtzman walked home, he promised himself that he would have the last laugh. 

Click here for part five.

Before we begin, I must stress that this is a work of fiction. Fiction means it's not real. This is not a history, nor is it to be taken seriously in any way. This is basically my satirical interpretation of what it may have been like to film Star Trek Discovery. ​

Click here for part two. ​

CBS studios, February 2016
​
Bryan Fuller and Nick Meyer walked into a CBS conference room to see Les Moonves standing inside with another man. Moonves introduced the man to Fuller and Meyer, "Bryan, Nick, this is Alex Kurtzman, head of Secret Hideout. He'll be co-producing the show with you." They all shook hands and sat down. Fuller began the meeting.

"So Meyer and I have completed drafts for the first two episodes. You all should have received them in your email yesterday, so we can go through and discuss each aspect of it. The idea is 10 episodes per season, new crew, new ship, new century and new challenges!" Fuller looked around the room, then at Kurtzman, "What did you think Alex, is there anything you can think of that could add to the show?"

Kurtzman seemed pleased that Fuller was asking for his input right away, "Sure Bryan. I went through the script yesterday and it's... good. And there are some aspects of it that feel - generic - but I have a solution to that!" He then got to his point, "Seeing as everything here is new, I was thinking that we could make the main character someone other than the captain."

Meyer began to think about it, "I don't think it would hurt to have a character to focus on. Though traditionally, the main character of Trek was actually never part of the crew, it was the ship itself." Fuller chimed in, "I think it could work, we could give this particular character a backstory that we can flash back to from time to time. It would give the character a little more depth than the others."

Kurtzman was still unsure if they approved of the idea, "So do you guys like it?" Fuller responded, "We'd have to flesh out the character better, but I think we can..."

"Let make the main character black", Kurtzman accidentally interrupted in excitement. Fuller was a little taken aback by the interruption, but approved of Kurtzman's input and wrote it down, "...Ok."

"...and a woman," Kurtzman continued. "A strong black woman."

Fuller and Meyer looked at one another, Meyer then spoke, "Alex, I don't think that's gonna be a problem at all, but for now we should stay focused on making a good story first." For a second, Kurtzman seemed to realize he had gone off topic, "Of course, I'm getting too ahead of myself. I'm just excited to be apart of this."

Meyer smiled, "You're not alone in that Alex."

Fuller moved on to the next topic, "Because much of the plot revolves around the relationship of the crew, we're still gonna need a strong, moral Captain."

"I'm thinking that the Captain could be a parental type to help the crew including this new main character grow," said Meyer. " Who knows, she could even become the captain lat..."

"Let's make the captain a dick.", Kurtzman blurted out of nowhere.

This outburst caught Meyer off guard as he gave out a "Huh?" Kurtzman elaborated, "Think about it. Everybody expects that the captain is always going to be the good role model, or the father figure. Let's switch it up and make him a foil to my main character instead. And I think it would be a great twist."

Meyer questioned this idea, "Yet they're both Starfleet officers on the same ship, they have the same purpose. Why would a captain have a need to foil one of his crew-members?"

Kurtzman paused and pondered this question before suggesting, "Wasn't there a mirror universe in the original show?"

Meyer seemed incredulous at the suggestion, "You wanna bring that in this early?" Fuller spoke over Meyer, "Now, let's not pull out any gimmicks until we at least establish what the story is gonna be about." Kurtzman defended his idea, "It's not a gimmick, there is a mirror world where everybody is bad."

Moonves, who had been silently listening up to this point, called for order, "Gentleman, let's stay on task."

The room went silent for a few seconds. Moonves then nodded at Fuller, who decided to move onto the next topic, "Now, we were able to crack the code on making the old shows a hybrid of episodic and serial years ago. It worked well episodically because each episode, sans the cliff hangers, had a conclusion. It worked serially by adding to the overall development of the characters, and we would write that development into later seasons. "Let's keep that format," said Meyer. "Trek fans have always been satisfied with that type of storytelling."

"Except it doesn't keep viewers." Kurtzman added.

"What do you mean?" asked Meyer, now clearly annoyed.

Kurtzman explained, "When you tell episodic stories, you're telling ten different stories per season, all with 'B' and 'C' plots. And serial dramas tell one main story, with a 'B' and maybe a 'C' plot throughout the whole season. If you miss one episode, you miss out on much of the story, so they wont want to miss it. And serial is also easier for viewers to digest."

"If that cereal is Coo-coo Puffs." muttered Meyer under his breath, clearly not buying into Kurtzman's reasoning.

Before Kurtzman could respond, Fuller interjected, "But it's a streaming service, it's not like broadcast where if you miss the episode you have to wait months until they air it again, they can just go back and watch it."

Kurtzman was clearly meeting resistance, "I don't know, I'll defer to your judgement Bryan, but seeing as we have until January 2017 to put this out, I just think it would be simpler and less expensive overall to have just one main plot per season.

Fuller, getting annoyed himself, attempted to change the subject again, "I'll take it under advisement, Alex. Moving on. The bridge crew is going to have a huge roll to play in the plot. They'll all play a part and will all need small speaking scenes to acquaint the viewer to them." As soon as Fuller stopped speaking, the whole table looked at Kurtzman, expecting another outburst.

Kurtzman, feeling the tension, decided to raise his hand this time, "I have a suggestion," Fuller and Meyer continued to stare at Kurtzman, "Let's make the crew diverse."

Both Fuller and Meyer put their palms to their faces in frustration, "Have you..." Fuller began to yell before catching himself and lowering his voice, "Have you watched the old shows, it's always been diverse."

Kurtzman seemed confused, "I saw the pilot and the crew were all white men except for Number One."

"That was a pilot!" yelled Fuller, finally losing his temper, "The actual show had Sulu and Uhura and Chekov! Every single crew since then has always been diverse!" Realizing that he had lost it, Fuller walked out of the room, "Jesus Christ let's take a break, I need a cigarette."

Meyer stood up, "I'm gonna go talk to him", and walked out after Fuller. Kurtzman, all of his excitement gone, stood and started to leave when Moonves called after him, "Alex, could you stay for a few minutes?"

With the two now alone in the conference room, Moonves stood up and put a hand on Kurtzman's shoulder. "Don't let them get to you Alex, they're very protective over this franchise." He paced the room as he continued, "I don't see what they see, but I do know that we make over $13 million a year off of merchandise and licensing alone. There's gotta be something there."

Kurtzman seemed a little sad, "I get that they want to protect it, but their format is outdated. And when I co-wrote Star Trek 2009, they let us change everything and the movie was a hit."

Moonves leaned on the table and pondered this. He remembered how the ratings fell in the mid 2000's to the point where he felt the need to cancel the Enterprise series. To him it was a bland show. Then again, any space series was bland to him.

Maybe Alex was onto something, Moonves thought. "Do you think they're being too ridged?" he asked. "Yes, I think they're being a little too anal about their rules", Kurtzman answered, putting "rules" in air quotes.

The word "anal" brought Moonves to a laugh, "Ho-ho-ho! I can tell you some stories about anal."

"And, that's a red flag." Kurtzman said matter of factly. A flash a fear could be seen in Moonves' eyes as he quickly apologized, "Sorry. Look, I'm going to be skipping these meetings after today. I'm clearly not needed here." Kurtzman looked down in sadness so Moonves tried to cheer him up, "They took your idea of a main character, so give them a chance, I'm sure they'll be collaborative. But if you think they're not going to budge on anything else, then just let me know what you want and I'll tell'em to change it."

Kurtzman thought about this before hesitantly saying, "Well, there was this one idea that has had me thinking."

"What is it?" Moonves asked. "I know they want to push this story into the 25th century," Kurtzman started. "But really why can't we have this show take place during the Kirk era?"

​Click here for part four.